Show Notes

Episode 87. Sane Celebrations & Holidays

Episode 87. Sane Celebrations & Holidays

"So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God."
~ 1 Corinthians 10:31

Is it really possible to stay sane around the holidays?
What if I have real baggage from past holidays & celebrations?
How do I hold onto my values when the routine is thrown out the window?

In episode 87 of This Whole Life, Pat and Kenna dive into the highs, hards, and heartfelt moments that come with holidays and celebrations. Together, they explore personal and family traditions, sharing how their values influence everything from birthdays and wedding anniversaries to Easter and Christmas. The discussion goes far beyond surface-level festivities, unpacking how expectations, family dynamics, and even past baggage shape our experience of these moments. You'll hear practical wisdom about communicating needs, honoring boundaries, and keeping faith at the center of every celebration—even in the midst of chaos. Whether it’s prioritizing family, embracing compromise, or creating meaningful new traditions, this episode is full of relatable stories, smiles, and actionable strategies for navigating the busiest—and sometimes hardest—times of the year with both sanity and sanctity.

Show Notes

  • Abstract principles:

  • Manage and communicate your expectations around upcoming holidays

    • What is in my control?

  • What self-care do I need during this holiday in order to give of myself most fully?

    • Do I need rest? Connection? Exercise? A specific time for prayer? A break from screens?

  • Living out my values & priorities even when the routine is different around holidays

    • What do I need to do in order to not sacrifice my higher values fo the sake of lower values?

  • Have the courage to identify bad memories from past holidays, confront them, and release their hold on your future holidays

    • What do I need to move forward in hope and joy for this upcoming holiday or celebration?

  • Concrete Millea Family Holiday/Celebration Practices (take ‘em or leave ‘em):

  • We don’t do kids’ birthday parties for their friends; we host special birthday meals with their godparents and we take our kids on 2-on-1 birthday outings/experiences with both parents and the birthday boy/girl

  • We take an overnight getaway for our wedding anniversary every year, at least for one night

    • This usually isn’t an extravagant vacation; often it’s just one night in at a downtown hotel nearby

    • But it’s a chance to really celebrate and focus on our marriage for the good of one another, our children, and the world

  • We also watch videos from our wedding & reception with our children around our anniversary every year

  • We’ve chosen to always celebrate Holy Week, the Triduum, and Easter at home with just our family; we don’t travel and we don’t host others

    • We go HARD during the Triduum & Easter, and it’s likely unreasonable to impose those expectations on other loved ones during that holy time

  • We trade off Thanksgiving & Christmas with different sides of the family each year

    • And even though the schedule is very predictable and set, we still need to be flexible every year with how those holidays look with our loved ones

Here are Kenna’s blind holiday rankings - how would you rank them?

  1. Christmas

  2. Easter

  3. Ash Wednesday

  4. Kenna’s birthday

  5. Thanksgiving

  6. 4th of July

  7. Immaculate Conception

  8. Labor Day

  9. New Year’s Eve

  10. Memorial Day

Challenge By Choice

Look at the next significant holiday with clarity, hope, and openness

  • What are my expectations, hopes, fears, and emotions about this holiday?

  • How can I communicate those feelings with the people I love?

  • What do I need during this holiday to remain my true self and give of myself to others?

  • How can I be flexible in working with the expectations of others without compromising my highest values?

Reflection Questions

For personal reflection or group discussion

  1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?

  2. What are some of your favorite holiday traditions? Which holidays are most difficult for you?

  3. When have you compromised with others about a holiday or celebration? What was that experience like for you?

  4. When have you held onto your most central values during a celebration? When have you sacrificed a higher value for the sake of a lower value?

  5. How can you identify and communicate your hopes and fears of an upcoming holiday with a loved one? What do you hope they understand about you?